Nobody warned me that 23 will be this lonely

-

When I was younger, I imagined my twenties would be filled with adventure, spontaneous trips, long conversations under city lights, and people who would always stay. I thought I’d have it all figured out by now: my career, my relationships, my place in the world. I wasn’t completely wrong, but I wasn’t completely right either.

Being 23 feels like standing on shattered ground, everything you’ve ever known begins to crack, and you have no choice but to move forward, even when you don’t know what’s waiting on the other side.

No one warns you how confusing it feels when life quietly shifts. People start their own journeys; some move away, some get too busy, and some just fade from your story. Suddenly, the people who used to be a constant part of your days are just familiar names in your contact list. And you realize: it’s not because anyone stopped caring, it’s because everyone’s trying to figure out their own chaos too.

At 23, loneliness feels like a quiet companion. It visits you on slow Saturdays, in crowded rooms, or even when you’re with people you love. It doesn’t always mean sadness; sometimes it’s just the space between who you were and who you’re becoming.

Even love feels different at 23. The more you get to know someone, the more you see their flaws, and your own of course. The fairytale fades, replaced by real, raw lessons about patience, miscommunication, and compromise. But that doesn’t mean love becomes worse. It just becomes realer.

And maybe that’s what loneliness really is. It is not a curse, but a mirror. A quiet reflection of who you are when no one else is watching.

Because loneliness isn’t always bad. It’s just a phase, or maybe a signal, one gentle whisper from your mind saying, “It’s okay. Everyone feels lonely sometimes.”

Loneliness doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It doesn’t mean you’re broken. It doesn’t mean you can’t connect, love, or create. Sometimes, being alone is the very thing that shapes your strength. Loneliness teaches you to find calm in silence, to make peace with change, to grow without applause.

So maybe 23 is supposed to feel this way.
Maybe this is the age where we learn to find comfort in our own company.
Maybe this is the year when we stop running from loneliness and start listening to it.

As one single post I once read said,
“Do it scared, do it nervous, do it lonely — you’ll never be ready anyway.”


- Nabiilah

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Tentang Buku "Entrok" dan Marni: Perempuan, Mimpi Kecil, dan Luka Besar

-
Image
Entrok, entrok, dan entrok. Kalau ada orang yang bertanya kepadaku, novel Indonesia dengan latar tahun 60-an terbaik versiku, akan aku jawab "Entrok-nya Mba Okky".  Sebuah kisah yang mengguncang, menghantam kesadaran, dan meninggalkan luka yang tidak segera sembuh. Novel  Entrok  (2010) adalah debut dari Okky Madasari, yang kemudian dikenal sebagai penulis sastra sosial-politik. Buku ini membuka jalan bagi tema-tema besar seperti kebebasan, kekuasaan, dan identitas dalam karya-karya selanjutnya. Salah satu kutipan favoritku di buku ini: Kutipan ini muncul di awal novel, dan awalnya kukira ini adalah kalimat romantis antara pria dan wanita. Ternyata aku salah besar — dan aku baru menyadarinya setelah menyelesaikan cerita. Okky Madasari sangat lihai dalam meletakkan latar waktu di novelnya. Kutipan di atas adalah di "masa sekarang" dan cerita di lanjut dengan sudut pandang Marni di masa lalu . Seorang wanita Jawa miskin dan buta huruf yang hanya tinggal dengan ibunya ...
Read more

Very long poem

-
To know that I miss you so much when you leave; I miss you in every inch of this city, when I'm alone and lonely, or when I'm with my company, yet you nowhere to be seen. There's plenty of things I'd love you to see, in every part of the roads, sky, or trees; Upon the night sky where stars are shining, when I used to tell you to count with me.  I picked my pen and write— of the moon will always remind me of you. I talk to you over and over,  even you can't hear me, for me, nothing has changed; In every books, food stall, post office, classrooms, papers, songs, and movies, everything. I miss calling your name out loud, or driving around with the bikes, strolling around this awful town, ending up with some decent dishes. To hold your hands around the museum, being silly and we laugh aloud,  gossipping someone we curse, or perhaps the argue. "Let's go out this weekend, are you vacant?" you may ask me, "Sorry, I have plan with my boyfriend"  ...
Read more

English Debate Cuman Lomba Bacot??

-
Image
Apa yang pertama kali kalian pikirin kalau denger "Lomba Debat" ?? Kalo pengalamanku nih ya, temen temen yang pada awam bakalan bilang; " Hala mek bondo bacot" (oh hanya modal bicara) "Hala lek nyocot tok aku yo isok" (ah kalau bicara saja aku juga bisa) "Hah?! Debat onok lombae?" (ha?debat ada lombanya?) Beberapa kalimat yang aku terima waktu teman-temanku tau aku ikutan lomba debat. Okelah, aku nggak akan denial memang faktor utamanya "berdebat" ya bacot (bicara). Tapi kalau kita mau cari tau tentang "what is lomba debat?" Well, it is more than what you've seen visually and what you've heard verbally. Slightly throwback pertama kali aku masuk ke dunia perdebatan; Dipaksa. Dipaksa karena kurangnya "debater" buat bikin tim debat untuk ikut newbie competition. Ikut karena terpaksa is another level of joke sih 😄😄  Okey singkat cerita tim kita menang 4th place + best speaker. First money, first trophy, first d...
Read more